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Miss Meyli Biography


Meyli was born on a small farm in Kansas as the youngest of five children. Her siblings Emily, Limey, Miley, and Jim Bob never failed to ostracize and tease her about her real father being the milkman, but she refused to be swayed by their lies. At a tender young age, Meyli was given simple tasks around the farm which included, but were not limited to, feeding the schizophrenic horse, Barry. Barry had an episode one morning and managed to kick little Meyli in the leg as she was emptying his feeding trough. The bruises became so severely infected that her leg had to be amputated, and this traumatic experience would later propel her ceaseless fear of horses and schizophrenics.

Meyli decided then and there that she would not allow the fact that she now had a prosthetic leg to hinder her from chasing her dreams of one day becoming a middle-school bus driver. She would now work twice as hard as the average retard, and graduate high school in the nineteenth percentile in her class.

After high school, Meyli decided that Kansas was too small a state for her, and she decided to move to Delaware - the land of a million opportunities. After a two-year stint at the local Burger King (she was promoted to night manager after only 23 months!), she realized she had lost touch of her roots, and decided to go get them touched up at a rather upscale hair salon called Hair Cuttery on the corner of 7th and Center Street.

The man cutting her hair was so taken with Meyli, that he immediately began filling her head with thoughts of modeling and all things grandeur. Gustavo told her that he had connections and with a little work, he would be able to turn her into a model for the town's dollar store - and later on, the Special Olympics. Meyli became so excited that she quit her job at Burger King (and she now regrets this decision because it was biggest mistake of her life) and began training rigorously by doing five jumping jacks a week so that she could one day be a model.

In the midst of things, Meyli fell madly in love with Gustavo, and they got married, and even bought a little apartment together. The wedding was small, but everything she had ever imagined her first wedding to be. They held it in the gymnasium of the town high school, and it was absolutely glorious. Only two of her siblings were able to make it, but they were the two that Meyli didn't completely despise, so it was alright. The reception was held at McDonald's, as all twelve of the guests enjoyed the various dollar menu items - on the house!

Two months later, Meyli's mother came to visit - only to realize that Gustavo was Meyli's actual biological father. The moment was a tad awkward, as you can imagine. The marriage came to an abrupt end, and Meyli had to say goodbye - despite the fact that Gustavo would always remain her first true love. As a tribute, she got a tattoo around her anal lining of his name in a heart.

And I guess that leads us to where her life is now. Meyli moved to the dirty city of Baltimore, MD where she would attempt to lead a normal life. Modeling followed her, however, and a nice man named Mark Mogadishiu Meyers became determined to make Meyli part of his vision - The NOPI Chic vision. Despite her mental instability and the prosthetic leg, Meyli was everything he was looking for - two eyes, a nose, beauty, brains, ambition, a killer personality, and even a set of ears!

She is currently one of the select NOPI Chics on tour, so be sure to catch her at one of the shows. She may even show you her tattoo!

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